Just One Night
by htbookreader1
Summary: AU...edward cant stand it anymore and he goes back to bella in New moon intending to propose...but what will he find when he returns home? ed pov please read and review
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, its been a while hasn't it…I haven't been inspired for a while so that could explain my lack of writing anything. This is AU because Edward sadly never comes back in New moon even though I think he should…(still like jake though) but please read review and enjoy**

This is hell. Forget death, this is _living_ death. How could I possibly have believed I would be strong enough for this kind of separation? Telling Bella it would be like I never existed might have made her forget me, but there is nothing in the world that can erase her so easily from my mind. I've been running for three months trying to obliterate the visions of her dancing in my weak brain. Now I find myself in the middle of Alaska, wonderfully cold just how I like it.

But even the sharp thrill of the air does not enthrall my broken system the way it once had. All I can see is her face, almost like she was standing there in front of me. Her hair, a touch, a smell, I could never have forgotten, falls naturally around her face. Her eyes, a vision of brown, I could never have wiped away, stare deeply into my own feeble black ones. Her smile, an expression of purity I could never have destroyed brightens as she looks at me.

Suddenly I have a strong, unnatural, desire to reach up and touch her face. My fingers are begging my mind to commit this bizarre thought into real action. The gears in my ancient brain attempt the impossible, to explain to my aching fingers that the beauty before me is nothing but a ghost. But my fingers, those rash instruments of torture and love, ignore the warnings of its superiors and reach out to Bella. But when they try to feel her soft face, they grasp and nothing but air. When they try to cradle devilishly around the locks of her hair, they find emptiness as their only blanket.

In anger, in hatred, my fingers descend to my side. I am wrapped around by my own loneliness. All the human emotions in me that still claim some ground in my vampire exterior, long to cry out in agony. Tears, greater and stronger than watery human ones, stream madly down my soul. Unlike the salty droplets, which pour out of mortal eyes, mine are bitter gashes tasting of fire and anguish. I sink to the floor of my room silently and gaze intently at the floor. The word "coward," is sprawled across the wooden floor.

I know it is not real.

Nothing seems to be real anymore, but yet I can see it with such clarity. Am I a coward? Was I too afraid to show her that love was stronger than the forces breaking us apart? This is insanity, I know, weren't there numbers of logical reasons why I left her? Still staring at the ground, as a mourner stands above a grave, I try to remember my reasons for leaving.

My kind walks with weary souls upon an unwelcoming earth. Death, that brooding Poe of a creature, longs to bring us down to the welcoming mat of damned. Life, that childlike creature, longs to revive us to our full human selves. Yet neither claims a strong hold on us. We long for blood we are taught never to drink therefore our thirst is never quenched. Eternal hunger. So we attempt to glue on the wings of an angel behind our backs. The good on earth are rewarded in Paradise. Does that include those on earth who should have been dead long ago? Could that include murderers? Is it even possible for my kind to find peace?

It was for these reasons why I ran from Bella. But why does it hurt so much? Why do I feel so much pain for doing the right thing? For taking the proper path? Can't this ache just go away? My God I cannot take it! I love her. I love her without any comprehension and without any thought to the contrary. But she is safer without a family of vampires greedily looking at her like their next meal is on the table. She is safer without worrying whether she'll survive the trip to her boyfriend's house. She is safer without me.

Wait. What did I just say? She…is…safer…without…me? That doesn't even sound real. Safer? Is that really what I just said? For three months, I let myself believe this lie. But now…it means nothing to me anymore. I begin to stand up now, very slowly but surely I arise again. Now I am pacing madly back and forth in the room without a bed. Two sections of my brain are now battling furiously.

One side implores me to go back to her. This minute. Immediately. If I started running now I could get there in a couple of days…Stop! This is craziness talking! Remember what happened last time she came over Edward! She started bleeding and Jasper…recall what he tried to do. But I love her! That should be stronger than all the blood and all the vampires walking around with fiery eyes.

But I can't! It can't be possible that we could stay together. It is impossible for a mortal and an immortal to find happiness together. Especially an immortal like me. I belong with her, she awakens the mortal in me, and she completes my broken and torn soul. I would die for her…kill for her…anything for her. Yet why can I not just go back to her? If I would do all and everything for her, why can I not do the one thing that I want most of all? Damn my soul!

I press my head against the wall of the room in aggravation. Slowly I close my eyes and I see her face again. She smiles at me and blushes that red glow that I've always loved. But now suddenly her face is changing. She starts crying, rivers seem to flow from her small lovely eyes. God I want to tell her everything will be all right. I want to hold her in my arms and feel her warmth and whisper in her ear.

"I love you," I whisper bitterly to the girl behind my mind's eye. "I have always loved you Bella, and I'll love you forever." There I've said it aloud. For the first time in three months I have said my feelings aloud. I can hear their truth as they resound in my age-old eardrums. I am an emotional vampire. I have lusted for the blood of a stranger. I have loved and saved my beloved. And, being an emotional vampire, I cannot ignore the all too true feelings in my being.

I open my eyes and remove my head from its position against the wall. I walk to the window and open it. A cold breeze greets me and with it, a newfound plan. Quickly I set myself into a crouch and carefully jump from the window out into the snowy tundra of Alaska. But I am not staying for long. In fact, I am leaving now.

With eyes full of determination and a soul longing to be returned to his soul mate I break out into a run. Freely moving and swiftly turning I float, almost fly, past cities, towns, and ice covered waters. I hear nothing from those around me but my own thoughts. And my thoughts are sporadically arguing with one another. The logical side of my brain is still fighting for a voice, but I am not ruled by that part right now. Now I run because of emotions. I run because of feelings shut out for too long. I run for a love I am no longer afraid to show.

Hold on a minute. I stop my running and listen to that statement I just made. _I run for a love_, that part seems good. Then there's the, _no longer afraid to show_, part that has me troubled. Suddenly I clutch at the string around my neck. I feel the diamond ring against my finger. My mother's wedding ring, which I wear always. Proposing to Bella? Really? Yet as I let the taste of the thought swirl around in my head it sounds better and better.

If I'm going to go back to her, I might as well marry her while I'm at it. Sure, bring on the bells and the cake; I am going to marry her. I will marry Bella. Then I begin running again, a purpose fills my mind. Pricks of happiness and hope start entering the darkness that had previously clouded and enclosed my brain. Soon I am out of Alaska entirely, only one more barrier till I see her again. Canada is nothing, and then I see her again. Then I am in Seattle. Then I am with Bella.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay it has been a very very very long time since i have written this story...and i understand if none of you read it...i get it but please do because i love reviews and i love all of you...and think about the new moon trailer is up and everyones rereading new moon...wouldnt it be wise, smart even, to read a newmoon fan fic?? come on i know you wanna okay if you guys review this i promise to write super chaps and promise to write a thank you to each one of you who reviews this story...and ill take your suggestions for future chaps **

**Chapter two: Think Again**

I have arrived at Bella's house at last. Thanks be to God. When I reach her house it is after twilight. The stars are already in the heavens above. One time I tried to count them all but to no use. They are ageless and timeless like me. We are both trapped in our places never moving, never changing.

The journey was not long and I do not feel the time passing. But, then again, I never feel time passing. Slowly I creep, without a sound, to the front door of the house. As I assumed it is unlocked and I quietly enter.

Things in the Swan house have not changed much since I have last been a welcomed visitor. Though now I feel more like an intruder. A stalker in the middle of the night. But I shake the thought from my mind and slowly glide up the steps I know so well to Bella's room.

Quietly I open the door and then I see her.

She is even more beautiful than I remember. Her hair has grown a little longer and its long strands are spread out all over her pillow. Bella still smells the same too. My nostrils soak in her sweet and divine scent.

Slowly I approach her side. But I raise an eyebrow upon witnessing a sight no mortal man would wise to see. Upon my Bella's long beautiful arm are multiple cuts. At least I wish they were cuts. They are too intentional and deliberate to be caused by mere trips and falls…even though my Bella is a klutz.

But this is not time to smile. In fact daylight seems to have gone away completely. What has happened to her? Who has done this to her? I know she has brought this pain upon herself. But I do not want to admit it. I do not want to believe it is true.

Then a thought deadly and evil wafts relentlessly into my mind. Though I try to push it away my strength will not silence it. Nothing can silence it.

_Have I caused this? _

That is an infantile suggestion…I know that. I have not been with Bella for months. She should not be in pain anymore. I have put myself out of her life, out of her existence. This damage could not be because of my presence.

But then I realize the truth. And I begin to ache and my knees start to shake. Because I realize that her masochistic tendencies are not due to my presence but to my absence. Bella has hurt herself because I…left her. I close my eyes and make my hands into fists. How could I have been so…stupid? I know better than to leave Bella alone to her own defenses.

"Oh Bella," I whisper.

Bella shifts her position in the bed.

I feel like hanging my head in shame. I crumble as I stand watching over her. Where was I when these scars were first formed? I was too scared to admit true love could last eternity. I was too scared….and now look what happened. Now Edward Cullen see what you have done?

How could you have done this?

Then suddenly I hear her moan. I hear her beautiful voice and it resonates through my battered and torn brain. It seeps through my cold petrified skin. How can I not respond?

"Bella," I whisper again.

"Edward," she says.

I smile. I think that she actually is calling to me. But her eyes remain locked and I know she is dreaming. But she is still dreaming of me. She still loves me. And I cannot stop myself from smiling though I do not deserve a place in her dreams. I do not deserve a place in her heart. Fools do not find reward in the arms of the girls they love.

She is shaking her head. "No…Edward…don't leave. Please I…"

I do not hear the rest. She is tossing and turning in a rage of passion. If vampires had the ability to cry, I promise you, I swear to you, I am weeping. This minute, listening to her pleading I weep. I weep for the pure soul I have infected for all eternity. I weep for the heart I have taken and then tossed to the side as if it was garbage and not the most important thing in the world to me.

So I decide to be stupid. I respond.

"I will not leave you Bella," I say. And then I walk to her bed and lie beside her. She realizes the cold figure beside her but does not open her eyes. She shutters a bit. I wrap my arms around her and I see a bruise on her neck.

That I did not cause.

That has been done by another's hand, but not mine. Never mine. Who has done this to her? But I do not dwell on that. Bella is in my arms again, though not conscious of it. But I feel her arms wrap around me and hold me tightly. Well tightly for an unconscious mortal girl. My unconscious mortal girl.

"Edward," she breathes, "why did you leave me? Why do you hate me?"

I shake my head as if she is accusing me. As if she knows I am there. I prepare to wake her up. I prepare to confess all and beg for her forgiveness. I prepare to get down on one knee. But suddenly I smell something disgusting.

I break from her hold and walk to the window for that is where the smell has led me. I look down and see a black dog looking up at me with anger. At first I ignore it but then I realize that this dog is no mere dog.

A werewolf.

Here? At Bella's house?

Swiftly I jump down from her window and land next to the dog. I can hear his thoughts they echo through my brain.

_What is he doing here? What right does he have to show his face here again?_

I raise an eyebrow. But the dog continues.

_Look at him…staring at me like I'VE done something wrong. Jeez! Edward Cullen back from the dead. Edward Cullen back to hurt Bella again. Back off leech!_

The werewolf goes into a growl and looks like he is about to lunge at me when I realize where I have heard that voice before. Jacob Black

"Jacob?" I ask.

The dog nods. _You remember me Cullen?_

"Didn't know you were a werewolf."

_Didn't know you were back. Guess you want to have a proper conversation? Human form and all?_

"Yeah."

The dog smiles. _First you become human, then my turn._

I roll my eyes as the dog morphs from a big black dog into Jacob Black. He is naked and standing before me. He has grown since I have last seen him. His chest is broader and his hair is shorter and thicker.

Jacob mistakes the direction of my stare. "Impressed?"

I shrug. "Don't get cocky. You are not that big. What are you doing here?"

Jacob does not answer but walks into the middle of the street to retrieve his pants. After he puts them on he comes back and faces me again.

"I think, at the moment, I have more of a right to be asking that question Cullen. You haven't had the decency to show your face here in months. But, then again, I'm glad you left." He gestures his head to Bella's room. "Some other people were not so happy."

I look at Jacob with my eyes nearly on fire. I have to stop myself from grabbing his throat and killing him. But then Jacob smiles viciously at me and I suddenly see what he is thinking. Pictures of Bella with scars all over her arms and legs is plastered in my mind. I shake my head as if that will rid me of the grotesque pictures.

"Stop!" I yell at the boy.

He smirks. "Much has changed since you've been gone."

"Like what?"

He shrugs. "Like some angry revenge seeking vampires are hunting your ex."

My eyes widen. "Laurnet? Victoria?"

Jacob kicks at the concrete street under his feet. "Laurnet's been dealt with. Victoria on the other hand…well we're tracking her."

"We?"

"The pack. God you have missed a lot. One other thing I might want to share with you."

I nodded. "Yes?"

Jacob walked very close to me and whispered. "Stay the hell away from her Cullen. She's just starting to feel again okay? She doesn't need you okay?"

I growl. I can growl too you little pup, just watch me. "You have no right to tell me what I will or will not do. I am back okay? You cannot do anything about that. It was kind of you to watch over her while I was gone but you don't need to do that anymore okay? I'm here."

Jacob laughs. "Think I'm scared of some fangs? No. It turns out that you've got no right to be here. Bella is going out with me. She's my girlfriend now."

**Who saw that coming???? can i do cliff hangers or what???**

**what do you think??? love you all now**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey...its another update hope i didnt keep you waiting too long...just a note its been a while since i've read this so some of these characters might seem a bit out of character...try to give me the benifit of the doubt...hope you guys like it!!! I do not own New Moon or any other Twilight books and i do not own any of the characters...though owning a cullen boy might not be so bad...sigh of bliss..if only**

**Chapter Three Can You Go Back Home?**

_She's my girlfriend now._

The very sentence cuts my soul like a knife. How can this be the truth? I dive into his mind to find the reality…only to discover that the werewolf does not lie. I see images of Bella and Jacob together. They are laughing and talking. But I know that she has not forgotten me…she still dreams of me. I have that going for me.

"Yeah," said Jacob, "soak up all those memories I have. Enjoy them you leech sucker."

I glare my eyes at the pup. "I am not going to fight you."

Jacob crosses his arms. "Too scared to get creamed by a superior being?"

I shake my head. "I wouldn't want you to get beaten up unfairly."

Though I try to put on a face of ease inside I shatter. Vampires die because another vampire tears them apart limb from limb and burns the pieces. But this vampire dies without that. This vampire is dying now, at the hands of a puerile teenage werewolf.

He turns his hands into fists. "Bring it on!"

But suddenly from behind him other werewolves star approaching. There are three and they are all just as large as Jacob was in his wolf form. I hear their thoughts just as well as Jacob's.

_What is Jake doing now?_

_Is he really trying to pick a fight with a bloodsucker?_

_Jake! Snap out of it!_

Jacob looks at his friends and rolls his eyes. _He was in her house! I had to do something didn't I? I smelled vampire so I went to check it out. Jeez. Cool it Paul!_

The other werewolves morph into human form and stand beside Jacob, to stare at me. They all look about the same age as Jacob but yet they all physically appear more mature than their ages suggest. I did not plan to take on a pack of wolves this night. In fact this night is not going according to any sort of plan at all.

"Like I said Cullen," Jacob lets the word Cullen sound like pure venom, "leave now!"

The one who Jacob addressed as Paul puts a hand on Jacob's shoulder. "Jake, what are you doing? Why are you taunting him?"

Jake shakes his head and pulls away from Paul. "Paul, he was IN HER HOUSE! I need to claim my territory alright?"

I laugh. "Mark you territory? Really?"

Another of the werewolves growls at me. "Don't mock Jake blood sucker!"

"Shut up with the blood sucker stuff alright pup!" I scream.

Paul realizes that there is an escalating fight that will erupt between our two kinds. He walks between me and the rest of the dogs and holds up his hands.

"Enough! Do you guys want to wake up the entire street?! How do you think people will react if the normal people see a couple of boys fighting in the middle of the night?"

Jake turns his nose up at me. "They don't need to know who we really are. They'll just assume it was a normal teenager scrap."

"Nice way to put it," I say, "because when I'm done with you, that's all you'll be—scraps."

One of the werewolves tries to jump on me but Paul holds him back. "Embry control yourself!"

They start fighting wildly nearly beating each other up until, finally, completely exhausted; they collapse on the street panting heavily. The one named Embry looks angrily at Paul. "Why are you defending the vampire? We were brought into being to fight his kind, not sympathize with them."

Paul shakes his head. "Jake's the crazy one tonight not me."

Jake shrugs his shoulders. "Whatever, I'm leaving." He is about to turn back into a wolf but then he looks at me and says, "Remember Cullen stay away from her…if you come anywhere near us again, I swear I will have to kill you." Then without waiting for a reply he morphs back into a wolf. With him morphs Embry and the third boy who did not speak to me.

They race off down the street leaving Paul and myself. I want to thank Paul for helping me but he holds up a hand to stop me.

"I was protecting them not you."

I nod. "So, could I ask you a question?"

Paul raises an eyebrow. "Depends on the question."

I bit my lip. "When did he start going out with her?"

Paul laughs. He scratches his nose. "It's been a couple of months now I think. She was really depressed before she started hanging out with us…and with Jake. Cullen, I'm telling you this honestly, if you really love Bella you never should have left her. She was an absolute mess, like a zombie or something. She's finally starting to heal….after all the damage you've done."

I am about to reply when I look at Paul. His left arm is bleeding and his right leg looks like a wreck. Paul notices my gaze and shakes his head. "I heal too quickly for you to start attacking."

"No." I shake my head. "I didn't mean that, I was just wondering if you're going to be okay?"

Paul nods. "Yeah see?"

And as I look down at his cuts again and realize they have grown considerably smaller.

"That's pretty cool," I say impressed.

Paul shrugs. "Well, don't be too impressed you're the one who doesn't get hurt right?"

_You have no idea._

I raise an eyebrow. "If she's healing, then why does she have bruises all over her body?"

Paul bits his lip. He looks after where Jake and the rest of the pack went and then he looks back to me. "You know what Cullen, I've probably got to be going too. They'll start to miss me and wonder if I've joined the dark side…you being the dark side obviously."

"Obviously," I repeat absentmindedly thinking of Bella's bruises again.

I then attempt to dive into his mind and see for myself what he knows and what he is thinking. But all I can see is a brick wall. And all I hear is a laugh.

_Bella told us about your talent Cullen. We know what you are capable of, and we have trained ourselves to be ready for that kind of trick…sorry._

I shrug. "Fine."

Paul winks at me and then morphs into his wolf form. He walks down the street and then looks back at me and howls at the moon.

_Maybe you should have stayed away Cullen. Things have changed at Forks since your kind has left._

Then Paul runs out of sight and I am left alone on the street. I scratch my head and sigh. I take out the ring which I was planning to use to propose to Bella. I look at its beauty as the diamond ring it's the moonlight creating a ghostly glow. I kiss it and then put it in my pocket.

I will not let Jake have his way. I cannot let him win. Even if Bella will not have me again, I will not let Jake have her. Jealous? Definitely. I have no claim over her anymore and therefore I cannot just toss a bone and force him to run in the other direction. That is worrisome. And my first instinct is to leave.

Leaving would be so easy. I could just start running again and never look back at Forks. Bella would forget me and stay with Jake. But I keep seeing those bruises in my mind's eye. There is something wrong here and I intend to find out. I intend to stay.

If I claim that I love her no matter what then I cannot let some dog stand in my way. I will not let some dog stand in my way.

With new energy I run down the street and through the streets of Forks all the way to my old house. It looks just as we left it. The garage is empty as all our cars are gone. When I walk into the house the lights are all off. I remember that in the living room was the place where we decided to leave Forks forever.

We took a vote. Since the incident with Jasper we realized that something had to change. And since we could not change into humans, and I refused to change Bella into a vampire, one of us had to leave.

Carlisle was in charge of the voting.

"All those in favor of leaving raise their hands."

Jasper, Rosalie, and I raised our hands. Each of us had our own reasons for leaving. Jasper still felt incredibly guilty for his attack and therefore he shot his hand way up in the air. Rosalie did not particularly like Forks or Bella and she was fine with moving on. And I, like Jasper, felt guilty for endangering Bella's life again.

Then Carlisle wrote down our names and said, "All those in favor of staying raise their hands."

Emmett, Alice, and Esme raised their hands. They liked Forks and believed that we could continue living in peace among the mortals.

So it was a tie, as Carlisle decided not to vote. Rosalie looked desperately at Emmett. "Come on Emmett please?"

Emmett shook his head. "I like it in Forks. I like Bella she's cool with us being vampires and she makes Edward happy."

Then Rosalie used her bambi eyes on Emmett and suddenly Emmett changed his vote much to the dismay of Esme and Alice.

So that was how it was decided, we left because of Rosalie's bambi eyes. They could work well on Emmett and on most of us when she wanted us to do something we really did not want to do. All those memories are now flooded throughout this lonely home of mine.

I walk up the stairs to my room. I have not seen it in many months though I know it has not changed. No one has been in here…but then I see something that changes my mind completely. I walk to my collection of CDs and realize that one of them is lying on the floor.

Now vampires who must live as vegetarians are very neat creatures. We straighten up rooms and meticulously clean messes. We need to keep ourselves busy. The more tasks we give our hands and brains the less we think about how wonderful the human over there smells

So obviously I would have left my room spotless and put everything away. So why was this CD lying on the floor?

I pick it up and examine it carefully. I realize it is Clare De Lune. My heart begins to ache. This music makes me think of Bella and I smile at the memories the two of us shared. Then another thought crosses my mind.

_Has she been here since I left?_

I wonder what else she has left out of place. I am about to find out when my pocket begins to ring. I take out my cell phone and see who the caller is.

_Alice Cullen._

I ignore the ring and continue searching my room desperately wondering if there is an object she recently touched. If it still holds her delicate scent…

My cell phone rings again.

This time I open it and say, "Hello?"

"It's about time!" Alice yells through the phone.

**So Alice knew??? btw this idea of alice knowing was candyflossgirl's idea thank you for the help i appreciate it very much...people check out her fics they are much better than mine!!! please read review and enjoy love you all!!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, so its been what?? since July?? yeah that sounds about right. And i probably thought i'd update more often than that. But, I'm into this now. And i hope some of you are still willing to give this a chance...maybe. I got New Moon dvd a couple of days ago and im totally hooked again!!!!!! yay for the ending. So this story...quite diff from new moon which might be a good or a bad thing i dont know. Im thinking that there are going to be some similarites to the actual story. I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments on this. **

**To remind you all: Ed gets back, going to propse to bella, BUT--jake says hes going out with bella!!! and bella looks beaten up bad...who did that to her? And, Edward just got a mysteriosu call from alice..what will she say to him?**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Myers owns everything Twilight, i love everything twilight--see the difference??? **

**Chapter Four: Assumptions, Lies, Truths**

I blink. "Alice?"

"You're finally home!" yells Alice again so loudly as if she is standing next to me.

"Slow down," I say calmly over the phone. "Alice what are you talking about?"

I cannot read her mind so I am forced to ask her. It is difficult to read someone's mind over the phone.

"You've been to Bella's place," says Alice breathlessly. "Right?"

I catch my breath. "You knew I was going to do this? You saw it coming?"

"Duh!" she yells. "And you better act quickly."

"And leave," I say, knowing that taking that course of action would be the right thing to do.

I hear Alice give a long sigh over the phone. "No! Edward haven't you been listening?"

I smile.

Despite the fact that she is yelling in my ear, despite the fact that I have no idea why, it is good to hear her voice again. I have been on the run for months and have not spoken with my sister in what feels like eternity.

"I've been listening," I chuckle through my pain, "you said something about me correcting the situation? Acting quickly?"

"Right," she says desperately. "I had a vision about Bella."

I've momentarily forgotten how to breathe.

"Sort of," she adds.

"What do you mean sort of?" I ask.

"Though I've been able to see most of the dangerous and insane activities that Bella's participated in for the past months since our departure, she's blurry most of the times. I have no idea why, but something or someone is definitely impairing my seeing powers."

"Stop!" I say, only hearing one word she's said during her ramble.

Dangerous.

"We don't have time for the same concerns," says my sister over the phone. "Listen to the rest of this. Every time that Bella comes back into my vision, she's always more tired, more beaten, and more broken than before. Something's killing her Edward," Alice says slowly, "and I don't think that it's a vampire this time."

I narrow my eyes and give a small growl.

"Easy there vampire brother," says Alice. "I don't have the facts. I'm not sure what's going on. That's why I'm glad that you finally got to Forks. Do you have the ring with you?"

I suddenly feel as if Alice is the one reading my mind and I'm in the dark. I finger the ring in my pocket so that I know it is still there. It is the first true thing I have touched all night. The first thing I want to believe in and that it has some everlasting truth.

"You know some things," I say controlling my annoyance, "are still between two people."

"Not if there's a third party who's watching it all," says Alice. Even though I cannot see her, I know somehow that she is smiling on the other end of the phone.

But I am not smiling. I do not feel that there is much to smile about after Alice's visions of Bella. Even though she assumes that the attacks are not from a vampire, I am not so easily swayed.

"Alice," I say, "I…" I am at a loss for words. Any sort of words.

"Edward," Alice says, sounding very much like a mother, "why do you suppose I told you these things?"

I sigh. "You are suggesting I do something about this?"

"I am assuring you that, you, and you alone, are the only one who can do something about this."

I bit my lip. What if I only make her worse?

"Whatever it is that is clouding my vision, is definitely related to her decreasing state of vitality," says Alice with a worried voice. "You alone can figure out what it is, stop it, and bring her back to normal." She pauses and then says, "Unless, you don't want to save her?"

I glare my eyes and hiss like the very wolf I now envy with all my heart. "How can you even ask me that Alice?"

"You needed to remember that feeling," she says, I'm sure feeling very pleased with herself.

"I have to go," I say quietly.

"You're going to stay though, right?"

Alice's voice of concern and pleading reminds me of another girl, not too long ago, who asked me a similar question. Her eyes did not sparkle like hazel, but were of a deep brown. Though she had been lying in a hospital bed, pale as a ghost, fragile as a child, she was beautiful to me.

She too, had asked me, begged me, to stay with her.

To love her forever.

Where else am I gonna go?

And I had meant that, meant that more than any other promise in my entire life.

I take a deep breath, finding the human in me. "Yes. I'm going to stay."

"I'll check back with you soon," says Alice. "Bye."

I hear the click of the phone and put it back in my pocket. I must get down to the bottom of the problem—Bella's wounds and bruises. They could be self inflicted. I wince, as I consider this option. Though it is a possible explanation, I push it to the back of my mind. It is too much damage, too much pain, too much for _her_ to cause.

Charlie was also not an option. I was not even considering him, as I knew of no other more loving parent than Mr. Swan. He was extremely protective, and would never let anyone hurt his child. At this, I wonder how he could let this go on?

The most likely candidate comes to my mind. I think that, the first time that Alice brought it up, I knew the very dog responsible. But I did not want to believe that someone who claimed to care for Bella would treat her like that. What had she done that could drive him to such anger?

Or, perhaps, she does nothing wrong and he is simply an abusive creature.

An animal.

I suddenly am overwhelmed with a rage that I cannot control. My first instinct is to break and tear everything in my sight. Then my target is limited to him, and him alone. Jacob Black. God I want to kill him. I want to utterly destroy him.

But then I see Carlisle in my mind's eye. I see his eyes, ever calm, ever golden, looking at me with sympathy. He looks at me as if he knows I will do no real harm to another creature. It was those eyes that pulled me away from ripping up James last year.

And those eyes helped me find the way to save Bella.

I take control of my feelings again. Then I decide to confront the other man in Bella's life who cares for her more than any other.

I leave my house and run back to Bella's house. I dare the werewolves to come anywhere near me. They would not want to reveal their true selves to Charlie would they? I am about to ring the bell and properly meet with Mr. Swan, when I stop and think about what I am doing.

What if Charlie hates me for what I have done?

He does not need to let me back into his house. He has no reason to trust me, or to let me even see his daughter again.

Though I love Bella more than life itself, I would not for the world, overpower Charlie to get to her. Besides, that is not what meeting with Charlie is about. I do not go to his door to beg for his mercy, or forgive me; I have come to discuss Bella's bruises and health.

I give a quiet knock on the door. I wait for someone, anyone, to answer the door and answer my call. However, there is a noise behind me.

There is a sharp growl behind me, one I could recognize anywhere.

I turn around slowly and walk away from the house, towards a very angry Jacob Black.

"This is a very familiar situation we find ourselves in," says Jake angrily. "Is there something wrong with vampires' memories? I thought I told you never to come back here."

I shrug. "And I thought that werewolves were only allowed to attack vampires."

Jake raises a brow. "What are you talking about?"

"You're a smart dog," I say with a look of pure hatred, "figure it out."

"What?"

"There is something wrong here," I explain, "something that needs to be fixed."

Jake laughs. "Oh, right, sure. You can fix things now. I thought you could only break them."

I do not attempt to plunge into his mind, to see what he is really thinking, because I know I will find a brick wall.

I say nothing.

"Bella is with me," he says with a smug look on his face. "Get used to it Cullen."

My eyes are beginning to turn a bloody red. "If you hurt her again…"

Jake chuckles. "You think I abuse her? You have no proof of that, only assumptions. I think anyone can see that you are the abusive one. Besides," he says looking up at Bella's dark window, "you'd never get her to admit it."

I shiver. "What are you—?"

He interrupts me. "There are some things about humans you might never understand."

I shake my head in disbelief. "She's not weak," I say, to convince myself just as much as to convince Jake, "she is strong, and brave. If you are hurting her, she would not keep it inside."

Jake steps closer to me. He looks like he is enjoying himself. "Have you ever heard her talk about this hole she has? Well, you caused it. I'm filling it in." He stopped and looked me straight in the eye. "If I left her, the hole would come back again."

Not if she knew that I was back, I think to myself.

Jake smiled, almost as if he knew what I was thinking. "Yeah, right, like seeing you would change that. You broke her, you damn bloodsucker. She's unlikely to forgive you that easily. Not that you're going to have any chance to see her whatsoever."

I shake my head. "You will not be here all the time, dog."

Jake shrugs off my remark. "All I'm saying is, come near her again, and I might actually hurt her, beyond repair."

It takes everything I have in me, all the sympathetic looks from Carlisle, the smiles from Alice, the joy from Esme, and the love from Bella, for me to not kill this mutt with one hand.

Jake looks away from me at the sky. "Dawn's coming." Then he looks back at me. "Probably don't want to be around here for the sun do you? Turn into a bat or something, right?"

I roll my eyes. "You are not going to chase me away."

Jake takes one more look at Bella's bedroom window. "Maybe, I won't have to." He turns around and walks away into the soon fading darkness. "Later Cullen."

I sigh and relax myself a bit. I wonder what exactly he means by his last remark. Bella would not chase me away would she? She would then be doing exactly what I had asked her to do—act as though I had never existed. Completely erase me from her memory and her feelings, like a breath of air.

I walk towards the bushes near Bella's house and sit amongst them, shaded in their leafy blanket of green. Watching the house where my love sleeps should relax me and clam down my breath. Instead I feel as if I am being torn apart, so close to Bella and as far as ever before.

Time passes quickly for vampires, yet it is always so slow for mortals. In no time the sun had risen to its glorious light, fighting against the blinding darkness. It is seconds later that I see two people walk out of the front door.

Bella is the first one who I see, and she is the only one I can see, though I know Charlie is walking next to her.

Her face is so sullen and pale. She carries herself with this invisible yet heavy weight of the world. All I want to do is stand up and reveal myself then than there. I want her to see my face, and hope, that she'll smile. And hope that she will run towards me with arms wide open and hold me. Hold me to remind that I am alive, that I am living, that I am hers and she is mine.

But I listen to Bella's conversation with Charlie instead.

"You sure you're okay?" says Charlie as Bella gets into her car.

Bella nods. "Yeah dad, I'm fine."

Charlie sighs and shakes his head. "One day you'll tell me about your bruises?"

Bella bits her lip, and says nothing.

"I thought going out with Jacob would be good for you, keep your mind of off…" I watch Charlie's voice trail off when he sees Bella's eyes turn away from him.

"I'm going to hang out at the rez with Jake after school today dad," says my angel in a soft voice.

Charlie nods. "If you do not tell me the truth in a week," he says his voice sounding very much like a cop and a protective father mixed into one, "then I'll be forced to play the dad card."

I see my Bella give a glimpse of a grin at her father's words.

Charlie smiles but I know what he is thinking. He is trying to remain strong for Bella's sake, but he is breaking inside too. He hates seeing his child this way, and he knows, that Bella is not telling him the whole truth. And, at this I smile, Charlie absolutely hates me. I can see from his thoughts that he blames me for everything that has hurt Bella.

I agree with him completely.

We both watch Bella drive away, when she is far enough gone, I stand up.

Chief Swan looks at me with wide eyes.

"What are you doing here?" he asks me stepping closer.

He thinks, Where is that shotgun?

I make my voice take on a polite, defensive edge. "Hello Chief Swan."

"Are you back?" Charlie asks crossing his arms and standing in front of his house like his is protecting it from all invaders.

From me.

"I believe so," I say truthfully.

"Bella just left a while ago," says Charlie without any emotion, "not that she would want to talk to you I expect."

I nod. "I've come to talk to you actually, about Bella."

Charlie raises a suspicious eyebrow. "What?"

How am I going to tell him all that I must? I cannot reveal that I am a vampire, and Jake is a werewolf because he would not believe it, and I would be breaking a dozen or so rules. Well, just one rule: don't reveal vampires to the mortals.

I decide to lie convincingly. "I ran into Jacob Black last night, as I was coming back into town."

Charlie nods. "Okay."

"He told me how he and Bella are together now," I say. At least that is true.

Charlie gives a slight chuckle. "If you are thinking about getting any sympathy from me, well, you'll have to look for it somewhere else."

He is about to turn around and leave when I speak. "Wait!"

The chief of police in Forks turns around to face me. "Yes?"

"I know I hurt her when I left, something that I never wanted to do in a million years. I know that you probably hate me, and she probably hates me, but I think that…that…" How to phrase this? How to phrase this?

"That what?" asks Charlie gruffly.

"I know why Bella is getting hurt, or at least, who causing the pain."

Charlie Swan blinks. "Let me guess…Jake?"

"Last night," I say, "I saw him fighting with his friends, just for disagreeing with him. When he gets angry, he really gets angry."

Charlie grins. "And you just stood idly by?"

I shrug. "He and I fought a little too."

The father of Bella nods. "I suspected something like that. And, from what you saw last night, you think that Jake is hurting her?"

I nod. "I need your help sir. I know that she probably does not love me anymore, but you need to help me convince her not to—"

Charlie cuts me off. "Wait a minute, wait. You only knew about Jake's behavior when you were already in town. You left here a couple of months ago, and now you return. You did not return all the way from god knows where, to tell me this. Why are you here?"

I try to read his mind.

Why does every teenager keep something from me this morning?

I decide to be truthful with the anxious and worried father. Perhaps, if I speak the truth, he will understand. I place my hand into my pocket and show him the ring I am planning to give to his daughter.

Charlie's eyes grow wide.

"Sir, I…want to marry your daughter. I cannot live my life without her, I know that now. I came back to ask your permission to marry her, and to ask her to marry me."

Well, I was not planning to ask his permission to marry her, but…it sounds better to Charlie than just simply asking his daughter without him knowing anything about it beforehand. This is the most truthful I have been with anyone besides Alice, in a long time. Alice can already see what is happening, but telling Charlie this, is like confirming my decision.

I am not going back to Alaska.

"Oh," is all that Charlie says. "Oh."

I nod. "Yes sir."

"She is only eighteen years old," says Charlie sitting on his front step.

"I know sir," I say trying to let him know that I understand.

Charlie puts his hand to his forehead. "She does not sleep well at night."

I blink. "What?"

The broken man looks up at me. "She does not sleep well anymore. She hasn't sleep well since you left. It's only increased since she started seeing Jake. Bella...she…she won't tell me what's going on. She just screams and then goes back to sleep."

I sit beside him on the step. I shake my head. "I have brought such pain to your house sir. I am so sorry."

Charlie clicks his tongue. "I don't think you should be so concerned on receiving my forgiveness."

"I know, I know." I put the ring back in my pocket. "Do you think I have any chance of getting her back?"

"Edward," says Charlie, saying my name for the first time in this conversation, "I'm not going to praise your name to her. To be perfectly honest, I don't like you a whole lot. But, even when she was in the hospital last year," he pauses and cringes at the memory, "even then, having lost all that blood, with that broken leg, she still smiled."

I think I know what he is saying, but I must make sure. "What are you saying?"

"When she was with you, you did not try to hurt her. She was brighter you know. Her eyes were brighter, her smile…she…" He stopped talking and looked out onto the quiet street.

I nod. It is difficult for him to show his feelings to anyone, especially someone he hates. But, he and I both know that there are bigger enemies out there. He does not understand the extent of the enemies, but I do.

"But with Jake," Charlie continues shaking his head, "it feels like I don't know her anymore. Like she's trapped, and I can't reach her."

_She just started calling me dad too, _I hear him say in his thoughts clearly.

The pain from this man hurts me as well. I did not just hurt Bella, but Charlie as well.

I cannot go back, so I must go forward.

"I'll root for you," says Charlie at last, sighing, "but I'm not going to praise you or anything. And, I'm not going to tell her you're back."

I nod. "I don't want you to. I need to tell her myself."

Charlie stands up and I do as well.

"She's going to the reservation this afternoon," says Charlie walking back into his house.

_I can't believe I just told him that, _I hear him think, _he is the lesser of the two evils._

"Thanks sir," I say as the door closes.

_So, he thinks I'm the lesser of the two evils? A vampire is better than a werewolf? _I think as I walk down the street feeling a small bit of relief. I was able, somewhat, to bring Charlie to see my point. Perhaps this is a sign, a positive sign that Bella will forgive me too.

I hope.

My feet take me to the high school where my brothers and sisters used to attend. It feels like a lifetime ago that we parked our cars in the parking lot, and sat in the classrooms. I smile, remembering how difficult it was for Jasper to handle all that human blood, how Rosalie always seemed to attract attention to herself, how Alice seemed to dance around the school and assumed a freak.

How I had saved Bella from being smashed by a car…

As I walk around the building, I see Bella sitting in one of her classes. Her eyes are fixed on the teacher but she seems to be somewhere else entirely. Again I find myself so close to Bella that I can almost smell her sweet scent, yet light years away from her touch.

Then, so suddenly, her eyes slide away from the teacher's monotone voice, to the window outside the classroom. Towards me!

For a brief minute, yet for an entire lifetime of a hundred years, Bella and I gaze into each other's eyes. I see her breath catch in her throat as her deep brown eyes stare into my hazel eyes. Butterscotch, she once had called them.

And it was in that second that I tried to tell her everything that there was in my heart to say. In that second I tried to tell her I loved her more than eternity, more than all the stars in the heavens, more than Romeo could ever have loved Juliet.

In that second I tried to apologize for everything I had done wrong. In that second I tried to apologize for the scar on her arm. I tried to tell her I was sorry for the hole in her heart, and for the tears she wept, and the nights she screamed out alone.

But, after that second she turned away from my gaze towards the front of the classroom, as if she had not seen me at all. But then I saw her hands. They were shaking slightly. She had seen me, she has seen me.

I can only hope that she does not think me to be a figment of her imagination.

I leave the exposing window, and I leave the school entirely.

Scaring Bella into loving me is not what I want. I do not want her to think she is crazy for seeing me…

But I am glad that she has seen me.

Even if I am just a figment of her mind, at least I am in her mind again.

Not that I will ever know for sure…

I do not hear the distant school bell ring, nor do I hear the sound of a car drive up behind me. I do hear the running feet on the pavement growing closer and closer.

And I do smell that scent…that sweet smell of my true love.

"Edward?" she asks in a small voice. Her voice is like the sound of a waterfall, of birds, of happiness and joy, at least to my ears.

I turn around slowly and look at Bella.

"Bella," I say for lack of better words.

"Are," she says looking up into my eyes, "are you real?"

I nod.

Even looking at her, I see the pain in her eyes. I see the sleeplessness there as well. And I see scraps, bruises, and cuts on her arms, and her neck.

And they are real. They are real.

"Yes," I say, "yes, I'm real."

**whats bella gonna do now?? what would you do??? if ed came up to you, after leaving you, what would you do??? please leave your thoughts and comments..**


End file.
